At the recent Hungry for Hope conference with Finding Balance, I was asked to write and share a “spoken word” for the Saturday evening celebration night. My wife and daughter were going to be there and I was scared.
I was was asked to represent the emotional journey of a father living with a daughter battling an eating disorder. Something I was intimately familiar with. My 19 year old has been struggling to overcome Anorexia for 2.5 years, a crisis unlike any other for a dad to walk through. After some thought and prayer, I agreed to step out and do my best.
This is what God gave me to share that night and it’s for any parent who finds themselves in the dark night of despair for their child.
These words are hard won, real… and raw… and true. They were formed from genuine stuff. A dads love and the fierce commitment of a father, fighting for His daughter! They reflect just a small fraction of the heart your Abba Father has for you!
YOU CAN and WE WILL … the journey of a Rose
From YOUR EYES, but obvious to me.
Elusive and fleeting…
I capture and hold it for you, time after time.
Broken by countless mirrored reflections…
I long for you to see how much of you is fading.
I cringe as I sit – sidelined by isolation…
Seeing your glory, the beauty of life.
Radiant perfection; regardless of your shadows size
Saying it over and over…
My infinitely special, uniquely perfect, Beautiful… little girl
Starved… A buffet of lies have rushed ahead.
Line upon line of half buried assumptions… crowd it out.
Visions of happiness…
Blurred with modern mythology…, photo-shopped counterfeits.
My dearest can’t you see?
The power of this drug, a masquerade; growing in the shadow of shame.
I hate your sadness, cruel and desperate; it sneaks and steals…
Hope fades into familiar rivers of anxious tears.
God can’t you help me explain…, help her to see?
Change this tragic tale…, swing your sword. Set her free!
Lowered gaze, she looks below.
I want to shout and shake your shoulders
It’s time to fight and forget, to remember how to live once more!
Frantic whispered prayers… sleepless.
Lost in the deepest darkness…, drowning in a fog of fear.
Compass broken, I’m out of answers…falling…, exhausted.
Looking for some purpose in my beloved’s pain,
A fathers strength, Fades…
Helpless…. I let her go.
Echoes of guilt shatter me… I am undone.
Refuge from the storm.
Fingers fight to unclench…. shallow first breath
Maybe it’s true? …Maybe…?
Inspired by the company of the courageous,
Faith finds its way back to a shrunken heart.
Life glow. Colors come again… pulsing …just under the surface.
Brilliant and blue… your eyes spread new warmth!
More becomes less… and your story shifts.
Skies lose their grey as a new season breaks.
We choose…, time to leave the past behind.
Fullness of fear.
Relentlessly whispers his self- hate
A liar, cruel and harsh…
A dictator…, self-proclaimed king.
Revolution brewing…, restless in your heart
Time to overthrow this tyrant, time to risk it all!
Pick up your head, my fair beauty,
Struggle deep, push back, break away… freedom waits.
Daughter, your courage inspires.
Today, and with each step… its strength fails, while you grow strong
Leaning into the slope.
Scrambling, desperate not to slip.
Slowly, the small miracles arrive…we find our way.
Truth and grace, re-paint their presence on your life.
Beauty recovers… grows within
Love in the mirror… fights for its right to be heard.
Shaky and weak…, each day a test
In awe and wonder, you trust and we believe.
Out of the dark valley and breaking the dawn…
YOU CAN and WE WILL.
To find out more or to get help, check out Bethany’s blog !