Essential #4 – The DANGER of Self-reliance:
Living independently as a parent could be dangerous, may even result in the spiritual death of your kids. A paraphrase from our Podcast interview with Professor Dean Diehl, Podcast season 2.
Being perceived as “strong” and above it all is a huge temptation for parents in the church to try to project everything’s OK. The reality is, we’re not. We can’t handle everything by ourselves, we are going to need help and encouragement. As parents we all need support, especially from other believers.
Parenting is more than a project to complete, it’s a sacred assignment to be guarded and well protected. Part of stewarding our parenting role is to surround ourselves with wise counsel and experience from those who have gone before us.
The culture is always pushing into our parenting practices, we have to protect ourselves from its influences and recognize how it redirects us from living as authentic examples of faith. Society will urge us to deny our weakness and project how mature and strong we are as parents, we can be duped into expending tremendous energy to present our families as a ‘success’.
As Christian parents, what are the goals we want set for our kids… Why?
The influence of our culture pushes us to quantify our successes with material and or secular measurements rather than spiritual dimensions. “What is our goal as a parent? To deliver a ‘good’ kid at 18 years of age, without having premarital sex, having tried alcohol or drugs? Or is it to love them unconditionally and help them discover their identity as God created them to be?”
This podcast interview digs deep and asks some hard questions for parents to consider, questions we all need to answer carefully and honestly.
If you’re struggling with the enormity of parenthood, you are not alone. We can walk through this together or forge ahead alone. To see our kids hearts won for Christ, we will have to adjust our approach and align ourselves with the way God works and reject the way our world insists we go.
Brilliantly Brave Parenting Podcast Link: https://soundcloud.com/brilliantlybrave/ep30-dean-diehl
YouTube Link: https://youtu.be/j1qf4IoZrws
Website Link: https://brilliantlybraveparenting.com/dean-diehl/
Some key thoughts / quotes from our interview:
“Self – reliance as a parent will get your kids killed (Spiritually)”
“Jesus never called us to be ‘good’ – But Holy. Good is what we do, Holy is what He does.”
“Christian Karma is when we start ‘comparing’ our good/bad behavior with others, and rely on our being ‘better’ than other people.”
“Selling salvation is one of the great failures of the evangelical church over the past century. We’ve tried to ‘sell’ the gospel – and we’re not called to sell the gospel – it’s not a sales proposition – it’s an offer of life.”
“Values based parenting vs. Rules based – the difference is all about what we parent from, fear or love.”
“What is our goal as a parent? To deliver a ‘good’ kid at 18 years of age, without having premarital sex, having tried alcohol or drugs? Or is it to love them unconditionally and help them discover their identity as God created them to be?”
“Fear of missing out – is one of the key marketing approaches in our modern society – it shouldn’t be a Christian parenting or church principle.”
About Dean Diehl: Assistant Professor at Trevecca Nazarene University and Senior VP at Provident Music Group. Trevecca is a private Christian liberal arts college in Nashville, TN. Founded in 1901, Trevecca’s mission is “a Christian community providing education for leadership and service.”
Dean Diehl is the director of their music business program. Diehl joined Trevecca in 2008 after pursuing a 20-year career in the music industry where he worked as the senior vice president of Provident Music Group, helping to shape the careers of well-known artists such as Casting Crowns, Third Day and Michael W. Smith. He and his wife live in Mt. Juliet, Tenn., where he grew up, and have four daughters and three grandchildren.