The Family Business

For thousands of years families have handed down more than a name to their children. Business and commerce, skills, and trades have all been passed from one generation to the next… one family at a time…for millennia.

For Christians, we look to pass our heritage of faith down to our kids like our ancestors did their livelihoods.  As a part of each family’s identity, these ‘family businesses’ were associated with entire regions of a country or state; blacksmith, jeweler, bakers, scholars, tailor, sailor, farmer, and mayors.

Source – Bloomberg News

The idea of families being engaged in the same enterprise of life has been the ‘normal’ for most of our history. Jesus as a carpenter… passed on by his earthly father to him is probably the most notable example, but also the idea of the disciples as fisherman etc… the cycle of living and existing continued with the skills and expertise of a lifetime of learning shared to the next generation with care and dedication.

Today we still see son’s and daughters’ stepping into their parents shoes, professionally and personally. Our kids will eventually adopt what we live (believe)  for their own.  (Proverbs 22:6)

My reminder today is to encourage you to take the time to consider carefully what you plan to pass on to your kids? Not just money and a car for college, but what will you actually transfer to them for a lifetime?

We get so busy. We are so busy. We run all day and then collapse… it’s easy to surrender to the overwhelming sense of being out of touch and ineffective as a parent. But the fact that you are a family is a huge – big – ginormous – deal!

God is for you. He is prepared to send whatever help you need to share your faith and your biblical beliefs with your kids.  That means no matter how weak or weary you may be, God’s strength is there to pick you up,! He promises to provide you with just the right ‘thing’ to say or do with your obstinate tween or teen, able to soothe your frustrations in the heat of any emotional moment and calm your fears for the future!

In short, God is our anchor to life and wisdom. His perspectives are  “the’ perspective, when we can ‘see’ our kids through ‘His” eyes, we’re on track as parents.

The family business is a faith business. We’re all training our kids to grow in their faith. No matter what your professional or career path is, we all share the father’s love and as Jesus said.. “I Must be about my Father’s business” – (Luke 2:49)

And so should we!

Blessings, Pastor B.

 

Politics and Parenting

Seems every week I write on this blog we have a different ‘crisis’ in the news.  From the threat of Nuclear War in Asia, to Ukrainian incursions by Russia, to the threat of ISIS in the public square… media is selling us ‘fear’. I’m not suggesting their reports are only ‘fake’ news, but I am saying they emphasis the ‘fear’ more than hope. On purpose.

As parents we’ve got a choice to make. We can buy what their selling… or not.

I choose to ‘not’.

Here’s why.

Politics is a murky world of hidden agendas, manipulation, half truth, and outright deception. Our worlds issues  are complex. Most issues are way past making simple ‘right/wrong’ judgements within a few minutes. Broad determinations on a person’s character or the wisdom of an action probably need more than a soundbyte. Judgements made  from a 5 minute news flash are not a good way to inform ourselves or determine our ‘positions’ on the latest politics of our day.  

Stepping back even further it’s clear that your source of information affects the ‘tone’ and perspective dramatically. Fox News or CNN…? Flip back and forth one day… listen to identical events being portrayed in polar opposite ways. One dissects the actions of the day from a ‘conservative’ or ‘Republican ‘perspective, the other in a ‘progressive’ or Democratic posture. Both are stridently ‘right’. Reading the news or hearing the radio talking heads go further into the weeds doesn’t help… each side props up their positions with selected facts and opinions to bolster their audience’s already decided positions on the latest drama.

How are we as parents going to help our kids navigate the mess that is our modern political culture?

Couple of thoughts. 

  1. Prejudice is well understood in the context of racism… but what about political parties? Conservatives and Progressive thinkers… Republicans and Democrats. Are we being pushed into yes/no answers based simply on  past stereotypes?
  2. Is the media messing with us? Are we being ‘played’ by a savvy business model that intentionally creates panic and fear to sell airtime and news? Hmmmmmnnn… I think so.
  3. As a Families of Faith, we should be careful to assign blame or pre-judge people, events, or news items simply based on what news cast we caught says. What about searching the scriptures… or praying. Or even saying nothing about the latest political foofaw to our kids.
  4. How much of what we’re hearing today… is going to even matter in a month? What about next year….? Can you remember what was happening last year this week on the world stage of news? I didn’t think so. (Freddie Gray – Baltimore police controversy – US News & World Report – May ’16)

In my opinion, when we allow politics to push into the sanctity of our homes… we are risking more than high blood pressure. Is it worth allowing the hype and fear and anger invade our lives? Is it wise to let a media driven culture subtly steal our peace and unity as a family of faith.  

Good questions. Lots of folks like to debate, discuss, and dialogue about the latest events and news. Great. Awesome. Me too… but as parents we’re faced with the dilemma of creating a space that is safe for our kids. A place that we can focus on the most important issues of life. 

I love that some parents use politics as a way to engage their older teens with an education narrative to teach values and truth from the exaggerations and deceptive reporting, but in the whole… let’s avoid being manipulated by media. Let’s agree it wouldn’t be wise to take sides prematurely on issues that may never matter. I’m talking to everyone here… Republican, Democrat… Conservative, Liberal, Progressive, Independent, Constitutionalist… etc… let’s pull back from the hype machine we call media and re-focus ourselves on the truly important things!

Peace…

Pastor B.

PS – I know there will be lots of opinions against my blog today. That’s cool… no problem. My views come from a “Via Media” approach to life. (The Middle Way – in Latin) Scripture reference for this blog… Psalm 2

 

 

Why 13?

Why 13?
In many cultures the age of 13 is a celebrated moment in time, that childhood is no more and the child is prepared for the future. Modern research indicates that what a person believes is locked in by age 13.

It’s time to reclaim the value of age 13 in America! I’m a part of a founding team of Christian parents and pastors who believe that it is important for a child to have established an unshakable foundation of faith before 13.

What is our response?
We partnered with like minded media groups and ministries within the TGA (Tween Gospel Alliance) )to create a unique – never before – kind of live event! We call it the B413- No Filter Tour!

We’re launching this spring (2017) in Bowling Green KY (April 22) and Austin TX (May 5) – hosted by Churches and partnered with Christian Radio, we’re reaching directly towards families of faith.

We wanted to create a place where kids can bring their parents to a one evening event with Christian music’s top artists, a world class illusionist, interactive video, and the nation’s top communicators for the family. We hope to help equip families to set the course of their kid’s entire life before 13.

So, if you have a pre-teen in your house and you’re concerned about the influence of our pop culture on their values, beliefs, and world views… you should come! We’ve asked the very best in Christian artists, speakers, and entertainers to help us convey one very specific message about your true IDENTITY in Christ.

2017 No Filter Tour

We’re excited to do more than worry, we decided it was time to do something “positive’ and empowering for Christian families. We’re asking you to do the same, won’t you invest in the next generation, won’t you help us do something significant to reverse the rapidly changing cultural shift in our society?

Here’s your chance! Bring your family to one of these two inaugural events and help us begin something new and different for the entire nation!

Tickets are $15 for an individual or $10 (group or family rate) – Find out more at B413.org. or iTickets.com 

Blessings and Happy Easter!

pastor Brad.

Why life can be so hard.

Life is hard. No denying that… but why?

livewellmagazine.org

Deep question… lots of ways to respond to that statement…but here are couple of thoughts to consider.

  1. Our own ‘Free-Will”. 

  2. There is a “Villain” in our story

  3. Other People’s “free-will’ 

Could it be that simple? I believe it really is…

Item #1 – “Our Own Free Will”.  We make choices. Everyday -it’s free-will that allows us to decide who to live with or run from,  when we will go to bed and what we’re going to eat or wear. All of these choices have a consequence. Each consequence is ours alone to bear. That’s hard. I make bad choices every day. We can’t ‘duck’ our part in the play – so to speak.

Item #2“There is a Villain in our story. Don’t forget you’re in a larger ‘story’ called the Gospel. In that context there is a good King and an evil prince. One is looking to protect and provide for you… the other is stealthy and deceptive, seeking to steal and destroy. For the Christian, our life is a constant heaven and hell skirmish. We’re fighting a two front battle all the time; (1) we’re pushing past the resistance of our own selfish ‘old’ self as well as the (2) demonic push back of Lucifer (the villain) who has lost everything in his rebellion from God. He is ruthless and persistent in the attack. Bad things are thrown at us all the time… without knowing who it is that’s out there, we could be fooled into thinking it’s us, our friends,… or worse, God to blame.

Item #3 – “Other people’s Free-Will; Yep… you know what this means. Other people in and around our story can make totally lame choices that will definitely affect us. From walking out of a marriage to stealing money from our company… each individual can and will fail us from time to time. Understanding that as they fail us… we’re likely to fail them too… we may choose to come to ‘peace’ with that reality or we’ll isolate. We’ll try to run and run and run… until we can’t run any longer. Simply avoiding the risk of being injured by others.

As Christians we must walk out our lives in the same context as everyone else… however, we have an optional fourth item to consider. The Christian’s helper / comforter is the Holy Spirit in us. It radically affects our perspective, infuses us with supernatural power, and warns of danger with discernment and wisdom.

With the presence of the Holy Spirit, we’re well equipped to respond to the world of free-will and the randomness of our lives, and we’re protected from the viciousness of our soul sworn enemy. The Holy Spirit along with God’s truth (scripture) gives us more than an edge in living our lives with victory.

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another,

If you’re feeling overwhelmed. If you’re soul tired… you need some newness of life.

I recommend the prayer of the Holy Spirit to jump-start your day.

Start with a spiritual song… sing along to it (out-loud).

Engage your heart and mind in this effort… allow several minutes to pass. Linger in the presence of God, soak up the words you’re listening to and then quietly Pray for God to grant you the grace and strength for your day,  ask the Holy Spirit to ‘fill’ you afresh.

Read in scripture or listen to it on a podcast. Hear the truth. Let it remind you again of God’s plans and purposes for your life… let it’s warmth push out the lies and agreements that may have crept into your psyche. God’s word freeing us from bondage and false accusation, opening us up to restoration. Ask for God’s protection and power to live your day in a posture of optimism and hope. .

Wait. . .

if necessary, ask for forgiveness as any recent sins may come immediately to mind. Don’t avoid this. Then Repeat…

Wait. . .

when God’s’ peace and purity flood your heart… resume your day.

Repeat again tomorrow.

Watch you ‘hard life’ suddenly change. It will steadily keep changing as your days start to morph into a series of satisfying and beautiful ones. A profound change in attitude and posture will start to show in you, as God through his redemptive supernatural power changes you.

A changed “you”… will begin to choose differently. A changed ‘you’ will respond to attacks without fear. A changed ‘you’ will grow in patience for those who  live selfishly. Not because you had a profound breakthrough or read the right book, but simply by seeing your life as it truly is. 

This is the Christian “LIFE”.

Pastor B.

Reference Verse for this blog; Romans 15:4-5a ” 

Wooley

Fathers are a fact… good dads are rare. I had both. This is my tribute post. To the one who paved the way for me to become the man  I am today. Rest in peace dad… you did good. Proud to be your son.

Dads story begins on May 20th, 1938…. and ended March 1st, 2017

Remembering “Wooley”

My dad was a remarkable man- if you knew him you at least sensed there was more to his story than you could see…and… there really was.

Dad was known for his slowly articulated oral adventures 🙂  – he could talk at great length about the nature of the human body and the spiritual soul – or the rigors of climbing Longs peak in Colorado… he drove every kind of car or truck and came home with a different vehicle 2 or 3 times some years. He was motorcycle man who owned 2 BMW’s – a couple of Honda Gold Wings and full dress Harley Davidson before he retired from riding.

He loved sports and the outdoors, he was a man of great faith and great integrity – He kept his word. Period.

His work ethic was unmatched – he worked dawn to dusk and then came home & cleaned the house or garage or a car…  🙂

His greatest loves beyond his Faith &  “Mimi” (who he adored for over 60 years ) were;

His two boys –

Strong black Coffee

Chiropractic –

Cars & motorcycles

the Blue Ridge Parkway –

Working outside – having a project to start

Mountains and the men who explored them

His neighbors and his few but loyal life long friendships

A few quotes about my dad 

The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.” Solomon

  • He was born with the bark on” (Sackett proverb 🙂

– “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Theodore Hesburgh

You gotta grab a root and growl son!” – Denny Fredrick (Clyde – Sackett  / June)

Louis L’Amour quote describes him well…

This-this was what made life: a moment of quiet, the water falling in the fountain, the girl’s voice. . . a moment of captured beauty. Those who are truly wise will never permit such moments to escape.”

 “We were together. I forget the rest”. – Walt Whitman

He lived at least four lives that I know of…

1 – His early years, “Ferdinand” (the bull – a nickname given by his favorite uncle – Vernon Mathias) was a humble, honest, hometown boy – he became a 4 sport letterman and athletic star in Peru IN / a jock with a beautiful young woman he discovered in the Peru high school marching band that he started dating early in HS. Dad was the clean cut – “happy days” all-American kid – responsible and handsome – he worked to pay his way – no favors and no handouts – he chose a career in Chiropractic after struggling with shin splints in his sports endeavors – married and fearless he went to St Louis to find his fortune – Mimi in tow.

dad-1960s-with-kevin-and-mimi

Mimi – Kevin and Dr. G L Mathias – Circa 1965 – Tuscola IL

2 – Dr G L Mathias of Tuscola, IL  was an ambitious – successful businessman, family man and leader. Developing and mentoring doctors and/or  disciples wherever he could. A man of deep faith he dedicated his life to serving God and opened his home and heart to Gods people generously for over two decades. Raising his two boys along side Europeans, African missionaries and an Indian holy man. He brought in countless exiles to live with us – single men and women, even down on their luck families who were broken and battered by life – needing a home and safe place to recover. We always had 2 or 3 or 5 people living in our home – some for years at a time.

wooley-and-family-97

Retired “Wooley” and his family in VA

3 – Retired Doc Mathias of Fancy Gap, VA. was a whole “nuther smoke” bringing his widowed father in to live with them  on the mountain, as he and Mimi retired to their beloved Blue Ridge Parkway. There he was a ‘more’ laid back – grandfather of six with extra time to golf and enjoy the views. But he couldn’t stop working entirely – helping with a local winery / managing a golf course and of course remodeling his home with infinite number of “projects”. He managed to continue treating dozens of patients for “free” in his basement and had the closest cut grass and bushes in the county. He made numerous medical mission trips to impoverished orphanages in Romania, his beloved Mimi by his side. Dad was always moving- always doing – retirement wasn’t a reality for him. This season of dad’s life is when we simply began to refer to him as ‘Wooley’ – christened so by his first grandson… David ‘wooley buggar’ Mathias.

4 – Wooley and Mimi decided to relocate after some health scares and they showed up in Spring Hill TN about 11 years ago. Leaving their idyllic mountain home in VA, they moved to Tennessee to live with me and my family of five 🙂 Driven closer by health concerns and a renewed desire to be involved with Christian ministry & a faith community – “woooley” and “Mimi” became a “thing” much bigger than they knew. Despite his age and fading health – Woolley was constantly working around the garage or the neighbors, a friend to every family in our Benevento cul-de-sac –

wooley-and-his-buddies

Wooley and 2 of his adopted grand-kids in Spring Hill

If you did’t know him… Dad loved everyone – bought gifts for the city sanitation guys and local landscape migrant workers every year – he noticed the guys in the background and cared for the sick and hurting for free until the last year or two. He was a father to “many” and a mentor to more! His home was open to any who needed to talk or pray – and he greeted every visitor at church with a warm smile and hug. He was a gentle soul with love to share for so many. Just look around you… we gathered here are but a small fraction of the lives he and Mimi touched – each in a very unique and special way.

So, depending on when you met my dad – how you knew him… you could have entirely different ideas of who he was… how he lived, what he stood for. It is true that he finished his life a better man – a kinder & gentler man than when he began. He understood pain and suffering – sorrow and sadness more than most. He knew of humility and loss, recognizing the world was broken – and he was ready to go to a place where life was as it should be…  yet he chose to believe the best about people and gave to anyone who had a need. He treasured loyalty and faithfulness above all else.

—————

In his last months he fought through the cloud of dementia and mental confusion – always searching for a way to escape – his faithful “Gracie Anne” by his side – He never forgot the faces of his family and friends – and loved with a “fierce” and “stubborn” love that is all but extinct today.

family-2015

The Wooley Mathias Family – 2015 

—————-

Through it all, my dad was loyal & strong. He could be quite stubborn – intensely focused – thick headed (which means always right)- could be mite controlling and often was overly demanding of himself and others – but he was always gracious and gentle when given time to reflect – dad had a genuine heart and wanted to serve in the simple and unseen ways. Setting up chairs, sweeping the floors… holding the door.

He loved to eat out with Mimi on their frequent date nights – loved to see his grand-kids and have a glass of wine with the neighbors – he loved wood fires at night – enjoyed listening to Rich Mullins & James Taylor. He owned every James Bond, loved John Wayne, and adored the days and ways of Andy Griffith. He loved reading his bible, praying for other people – and listening to the DAB with father Brian. He made it to Israel, Italy, Switzerland, France, Romania, Canada and Alaska – journeys all of the heart and then took our entire family on an epic Road-trip to Canada in 2010 to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. His love of travel and beauty was passed on to every member of our family… from the oldest to the youngest. That legacy lives on here at Road Trip parenting.

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Wooley and Mimi Family Road Trip! Circa 2010

Dad was the genuine deal… the authentic article, nothing fake or artificial about him. He lived with a different code. He took commitment seriously. He was chivalrous and bold, courageous and firm at a time when men were supposed to be quiet and reserved – he cherished our mom as the queen of our home and his life. He set the marriage bar very high… showing us boys how to faithfully love and endure through the good and the bad.

mimi-and-wooley-dancing-2012

Wooley with his “Mimi”

He loved his native Indiana and always thought of himself as a Hoosier – a simple man of plain tastes he preferred jeans jackets and work boots to a coat and tie. He longed for the crisp mountain air of Estes Park to the warm breezes off of Mt Pisgah’s heights – dad was a lover of American history & the natural beauty of Gods exquisite creation.

His favorite passages of scripture were in the Psalms – 23 and 139. He read and re-read the scriptures – meditating on their words and meanings – praying for hours some days for the trials of others.

He asked for his grave marker to simply say… “he walked with God” , not a mere boast… it was the truth and any who knew Him would same it’s so.

Dad was a character – but he was also a man of character – and that more than any other quality inspires me to live my life with renewed courage and deep integrity every day. His life left a deep impact on thousands and my brother and I were blessed to know and be fathered by him. Dad was old school – and wonderfully unique.

dads-last-days-feb-17

February 2017 – A moment of repose captured by his grand-daughter Colleen

My Dads life is over… his course has been run. I believe he was greeted by Christ himself… with a thunderous whisper… “well done

I know I have a lot of shoe yet to fill…and by God’s grace and my father’s authentic example, I shall endeavor to do just that.

Pastor B.

Brilliantly Brave Parenting

I heard the phrase ‘brilliantly brave‘ last night during a prayer at my parish in Columbia TN. (props to Tanya Grabbe)

It struck a note with me… you know that tingling sensation… resonating with something deeper inside your heart. A connecting point between a vague idea you had and a specific phrase that captures the essence of your thought.

“Brilliantly Brave’ was exactly what I had been searching for. It described how I saw moms and dads and parents across the globe trying to raise up decent kids in an insane and out of control world.

“Brilliantly Brave’.

I Love the feelings those two words evoke, the sense of raw courage and strength they lend to any phrase. And of course… they also work perfectly for a new podcast I’m developing with iShine and the Tween Gospel Alliance (TGA), a series designed specifically for parents who are struggling and feeling a lot less than ‘brilliant or brave!

GONE WILD VIA GETTY IMAGES

GONE WILD VIA GETTY IMAGES

In Our culture it’s common to google an answer to almost any issue we face. Wanna know how to cook a Thanksgiving turkey to perfection? Google it.

Wanna discover how to fix a drywall mistake on your living room wall? Google it.

Wanna fix your 12 year old’s attitude…? Google it…?

 We’re trained to ask “Siri’ or “Alexa’ to scour the internet for answers. To locate the smartest and best way to fix our problem. Very little discernment required for most of life’s little problems. 

Raising kids of course is way more complicated than a new recipe or DIY project. So who do you turn to for parenting advice? Where do you go to get answers for relational challenges like growing, hormonal, teens/tweens?

Very few of us would turn to the mirror in our search. Even less of us would ever consider our advice or insights as “brilliant’. I hope I can change that misperception.

My suggestion isn’t to chuck every other idea or advice out there, but to encourage you to cautiously peruse whatever it is “Siri’ suggests. Friends and family are always ready to give advice, and of course you’re local pastor or priest is a great place to go for some sage counsel… but what about you?

What if you put you’re own name on the door and listened to what God was saying directly to you about you’re problem? What if you seriously spent some time with the bible, you’re spouse, and in prayer?

Would God answer?

Would God actually give you insight and wisdom as to how to respond and parent? Maybe even show you the specific keys to your kids heart?

Yes… He would.

If you share my Christian worldview even a little… you recognize that in God’s Kingdom, there are no coincidences. The child you have has been hand-picked for you and you for them. No way someone else has a deeper insight than you into the inner workings of your kids heart. Aided by the power of the Holy Spirit, and the strength of faith you can go where no expert can, right to the very center mass of the issue surrounding your problem.

That means you are the most “Brilliant” parent possible for ‘your child.

Now… if only we were “Brave‘ enough.

🙂

Pastor B.

 

 

 

Guilty pleasures…

We run hard.

All the time.

Life pushes and stretches every free moment of our day. Work demands, school, sports, friendships, church, errands, bills, laundry, homework, cleaning the bathroom, the trash, the dishes, email, social media… the details of our everyday pile up and up as our free time evaporates. We never seem to catch up or slow down.

But when we actually do find a few precious hours of unscheduled, un-demanded free time… we may be confused. 

We can feel guilty. 

Uncomfortable with the unfamiliar freedom. 

It’s at times like this that I often find myself looking for something else to do. I feel so out of balance when life slows down that instead of enjoying the moment and resting,.. I rev up and chase after some distant almost forgotten task or meaningless assignment. Just to avoid the ‘uncomfortable’ void of doing ‘nothing. It’s as if rest has become a ‘guilty pleasure’ that I don’t deserve.

Ever feel that way…?

The truth is very different, the truth is we need rest.

The truth of God says we are commanded to rest every seventh day. In the Old Testament, we were supposed to take every seventh year off and enjoy the fruits of our labor. But we don’t. In fact we can’t really even allow ourselves to enjoy the few brief moments of unscheduled life that come our way.

Sabbath-2

Let’s stop rushing and filling our lives with stuff. Let’s agree to trust that our creator knows what’s best and start planning to not plan every hour of every day.  🙂 

Peace can be found in letting go of the need to be in control and resting in the assurance that God’s promises are true.

Simple as that. 🙂

Pastor B.