When your about to give up and give in to despair… DON’T!

We all know the struggle is real as a parent. The struggle to keep hope alive. To choose to ‘believe’ that God is up there and watching, engaged in our lives and actively seeking our good.

But there are days when that belief is strained to the breaking point.

There are dozens and dozens of days that I look back on and wonder how I made it through. How did I not just chuck it all and bail? How in the world did I stick it out and not give up?

Simple answer… GOD’S GRACE.

It’s always a temptation to give up – throw our proverbial hands in the air and just surrender to despair and doubt and walk away. For parents you can do everything right and still seem like you’ve failed.

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

For parents who are raising teens, this can be a daily or weekly event. Those promises of God you scribbled down on sticky notes and taped to your desk or fridge, don’t forget them. The word of God highlighted in your bible until the pages tear… it’s real.  The faith we’ve so carefully nursed along through missed mortgage payments, cancer,  and marital strife, it’s true and tested no matter how we feel.

Yet…it can seem so fragile.

But hang on a sec. Our lives and circumstances are usually crazy. The forces that push us around can seem overwhelming and dark, but that’s only if we forget whose we are. Our strength was never based on how well we performed, never built on a foundation of self reliance and personal will power. If we’re a Christ-follower, a believer in the savior and Messiah – Jesus, then we’re supposed to rely on HIS strength.

That means we’re NOT the key ingredient in our lives or our faith. HE IS. Our eternal destinies and that of our kids are NOT dependent on us. It is the irresistible pull of God to align us and our families into perfect sync with His Kingdom. In His time, and in His way. 

So… unclench your fists. Take deep – slow – breaths… God is still GOD. HE is still at the helm of our lives. His will is going to occur and His plans are going to succeed. We are not victims lost in the floods of life, we are protected and purposed by Him.

Go get your promises out and lay them before God in prayer, remind Him of your need for hope, for encouragement, for peace. Make it a regular habit to ask Him to show up in your despair, to believe He’s going to miraculously realign your life and circumstances according to His will.  As you ask for help remember to choose to praise Him for the answer. To look forward in anticipation for His perfect solution… even before you see it.

It is the ‘goodness’ of Gods character that we are being trained to trust in.  The outcome of our lives is not depending on our merit or hard work, just HIS GOODNESS.

For our mental perspective to shift all we have to do is recall to mind and more importantly our hearts, the faithfulness of God to meet ALL our needs. He was God over the impossible in the past and He will be God over the impossible today.

 

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

Remember we are but dust, and when our faith is only an ember, it is HIS strength that will carry the day.  St. Paul said it this way… “His strength is made perfect in our weakness”.

So parents – what could be more reassuring than that?

Peace out!

Pastor B.

Suggested link: Here is a great interview with one of my spiritual fathers, Pastor Duane Sheriff. He and his wife Sue have a fantastic perspective on parenting when we feel like a failure. Available at Brilliantly Brave Parenting on Soundcloud, iTunes, and YouTube.

The absurdity of exhaustion

As parents, we define the word ‘exhausted. (Merriam Webster – “the state of being extremely tired : the state of being exhausted: the act of using all of something : the act of exhausting something” -)

Sound familiar ?

Do you feel exhausted ?

I bet you often do, and within your moral right to claim “exhaustion’ and name it as your own personal word !  Parents, we use the word frequently and we’re right, we ARE tired and completely used up some days.

beautyandbedlam.com

beautyandbedlam.com

Kids, work, school, spouses… homework, laundry, dinner, soccer practice, dry cleaning, groceries and the pharmacy are all on our list of “must” do’s, squeezed in between the errands of life and our responsibilities, we’re wrung out. Stretching to get out every last drop of our time, energy and focus to just cover the ‘basic’s.

So when it comes to our staying ‘connected’ with our faith and the communities of believers we hang with… it’s often a last second decision to pick between an evening of “quiet sanity” on the couch or one more obligation to attend to in our otherwise, totally obligated life.

So it’s absurd to even think that we could ever do ‘more! Right ?

It’s in the moments of true exhaustion that God’s power is released to pour into our ’empty’ until we are truly strong. The irony and absolute absurdity of our faith is in the moments we ‘feel ‘ the most powerless and ineffective, God shows up in our circumstances to super-charge us.

I can’t tell you how many millions of pastors and their spouses would share of how God empowers them to “press on” into ministry each week, despite their physical and mental exhaustion.

How when at the very end of our personal proverbial rope, God asks us to give just a little bit more… to Him, to His people. An act of total faith and dependence as we have NOTHING left to give, but I can assure you, when you step into the world of the exhausted servant, the power of resurrection becomes real !

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Cor 12:9)

So Parents; as we work through our insanely busy days, let’s remember to allow room for God to work in our exhaustion to bring resurrection life to us and then to others through our behind the scenes, heroic acts of faith!

thenextweb.com

thenextweb.com

The absurd thing is this… when you take the risk to serve others in your exhaustion, God responds to our act of total dependence by reviving our heart, mind and body in a way that no bubble bath or Emmy winning sitcom ever could !

It’s amazing to experience, and impossible to truly describe….but when by every measure of science and psychology we should be MORE exhausted than ever, we’ll find ourselves ridiculously refreshed!

Love you all, Pastor B.

 

 

 

Sad Days Happen

Do you find yourself bumping along your days, caught up in a parade of semi-tragic life circumstances, followed by a regular series of dull and disappointing developments at your work and in your personal life ?

Do you wake up each morning feeling that your about to start a slow-motion repeat of the lonely and lifeless schedule that ran you into the ground yesterday? The one that keeps filling up with dozens of domestic obligations that seem to have no real purpose? 

Are you realizing that deep beneath your half smiles and faded pleasantness….inside of you is a sense of profound and deep sadness,  dangerously close to the surface –  repeatedly being hidden/pushed  underneath. Realizing that honestly…we’re only trying to protect us, to help maintain some status quo for our weary soul?

caringvoice.org

caringvoice.org

Do you feel trapped’ by commitments made long ago and mis-understood, of a faint desperate echo in your heart that never seems to get answered… a fading question….God, where are YOU ?

I have.

What do you do with those days… those weeks… those periods of life when all is sadness and sorrow and silent suffering?

I go find my friend King David and his painfully familiar poems and songs, written over 3000 years ago, I read – and re-read his words over and over letting their truths soak deep. PSALM 40 (ESV – Biblegateway)

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.

And suddenly the darkness fades and a little ray of hope, of encouragement grows in my weary heart and God’s word revives me – restores me for one more day. One more push forward in faith, trusting that somewhere in my life, God does hear, God does answer and that He will never fail me.

Peace out my friends,

Pastor B.