Imagining the worst…

Ever watch a friendship or marriage dis-integrate right before your eyes ? Maybe you’re in the middle of a relational crisis, or maybe it’s your tween or teen whose pulling so far away ?

It’s brutal to see up close.

Disrespect and broken trust erode what once was inseparable. Like emotional acid, the burn never seems to stop. Perceptions shift as mountains of past hurts, regret, and shame, dissolve through what remained of our commitment.

Intimacy turns inside out and ugly in a moment. Lost and emotionally afraid, we can start to hate the silence.

Conversations change. Sour stirrings of bitterness creep into our words as our wounded hearts seek to hide the truth and carry on without ever resolving the pain.

In time…our emotional reserves run out. Cold, flat, facts replace the warmth once felt, as we drift and float further apart. Apathy is all it takes to lose our relationship. Love and respect replaced by our deep and wary suspicion of ill intent.

HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN ?

Subtly we can lose our grip on reality, as the voices of  twisted truths win the war of trust in our heart. We start to entertain the darkest possible scenarios in our mind, in short…we imagine the worst, believing internal ‘whispers of warning‘ about events that have never even occurred yet.

Over time we can become so ‘convinced’ that we’re in the right to doubt others, we forget to even ask ourselves if they actually did anything to hurt us. Sometimes we can imagine offense by projecting past offenses or hurts into our present. Internal ‘perceptions become reality and our cynical imagination builds an elaborate dungeon of distrust. Once we surrender to those thoughts and fears, we can lose sight of what once was compassion and optimistic hope for one another.

Over time we can even start to predict that all kinds of people will eventually hurt or betray us, and in a paranoid attempt to protect ourselves, we withdraw from relationships before any of that happens. anxiety

The community of faith that Christ calls us to live in can’t survive long with our imaginations working on overdrive. We have to push back our fears and anxiety as we learn to ‘trust’ the hearts of others are actually ‘good. 

The bible describes these internal fear thoughts and ‘imaginations’ as legitimate spiritual ‘warfare’ ! A real life reality for the believer to accept and anticipate if we are going to make our relationships work.

We need to consciously prepare to defend our friendships,marriages and sanity, by choosing to remember God’s truth in those moments when we ‘feel’ the darkness of doubt, fear, and suspicion begin creeping into our thoughts.

If we don’t regularly choose to believe the best in our relationships, we can easily be deceived into thinking our friends, family, and spouses are the ‘enemy’.

(for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.

The Apostle Paul 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (AKJV)

Parents, believe for the best.

Spouses, trust that nothing is ever impossible with Christ.

Peace out, Pastor B 🙂

Planting a seed…of hope for the dry and empty home.

When we start this journey of parenthood, it’s often in the afterglow of a newly married daze and floats idealistic on our own beautiful and euphoric haze of a peaceful and loving future family life… um-hummmn. ?

Has that continued for you or do you find yourself struggling to remember the “why” of your enthusiasm for life, for why you wanted to have kids…for why you still bother to fight to maintain the faintest dream of being a happy family. Remember how firm our convictions were early on… our vow to be different from our peers, of keeping our marriages healthy and our lives in balance?

Our world has a way of painfully touching us with its dark tragedies, of stealing our personal hopes and joys one little piece at a time. It works relentlessly and energetically to remove the warmth of our dreams and happiness from our first months and years of parenthood and marriage into the chilled cynicism of middle age and compromise. But I want to give you hope,  it doesn’t have to be life on empty any more…

Most of us get bruised and broken when we rely on something or someone who is unreliable. We place our hopes and dreams on the escalator of hard work and dedication only to find it often stops at the second or third level of life…nowhere near the top floor. We trust that if we just maintain our relationships, they will endure. We touch our faith only when we feel insecure. Our dreams can be based on fictional lives, illustrated by books, sit-coms and blockbuster films, but if we don’t filter out the fake and embrace the real… we start to long for something that never was as if it were.

God is calling to you to help. He’s been calling for thousands of years. Gently, simply and persistently. I’m here to testify that nothing else can truly satisfy. Nothing else can take away the darkest pain, the aches of our life. It’s incredibly hard to trust that such a cliché’ is true, but please consider for a moment. What if Jesus was reliable, what if he was real?

Would He will choose to heal you and reveal to you His plan for your Life from the moment of creation? What if ? I believe…because he did all of this for me when I was broken and empty and out of answers. I felt His call and I took the leap, will you ?

His truth is calling to you… son of Man, daughter of Eve, will you hear Him ? Will you consider taking the one ultimate step of trusting in Him? Nothing else. Of laying down your conditions, your false expectations, your past pains and your ever-growing fatigue with it all… for His promise of Peace ?

If you do, I promise you will radically be re-arranged. An internal reset of your life will occur as your perspective of the pain, and stress and failures of the past immediately start to become testimonies of God’s grace and redemption in your life. He restores the lost hopes, dreams and joy of your youth. He heals marriages, and homes and renews our minds and hearts with the truth of His cross and its ultimate ability to recover all that has been lost.

Don’t mis-understand, surrendering to Jesus isn’t a magic formula that fixes everything in our lives at once, in fact following Jesus is no guarantee of your problems being erased at all. What is promised to us is contentment. From agitated and anxious to steady, from angry to peaceful and from despairing to hopeful. Not because we can solve our problems any better than before…but we because we’ve finally found someone who can.

How is that possible?

It came from a seed. A seed that was the embodiment of all truth and life and love. And from that seed, our lives were redeemed as it was put in the ground two thousand years ago. A seed that valuable was just surrendered, sacrificed and buried deep in the ground so it could grow into much more. The fruit of that first seed is still growing today, in the lives of men and women just like you and me. It’s the fruit of “LIFE”. It’s never fails, it never looses its power or its grace. It heals all who eat of it and it takes out of all who believe in it… the sting of death and hell and sorrow.

Jesus Christ himself was that seed, and His path for those seeking to follow Him requires a similar commitment of surrender, the call to sacrifice our preferences for what we “want” and a decision to willingly agree to let the old “us” be “buried’. To die to our personal ambitions and self. Only when we surrender that old self will we find that like any seed, when it falls into the ground and dies… its re-born and radically transformed into what we were intended to really become and be.

If we insist on continuing to do life our way and on our own, we risk living out the rest of our days trapped in a pointless struggle for meaning. But we never quite get there...As parents we often stop believing in our lives around our middle age years. So we quit trying, but most of us then mistakenly re-focus our hopes and dreams on our kids to become what we never could be in an effort to make sense of what we missed on the way… it’s painful stuff.

God is calling to you parents, not just your kids… don’t give up on your lives! Plant your life seed. Surrender to Jesus and doing so… discover LIFE !

God’s grace and favor to you as you like me… seek to “Keep your kids on the road and in between the lines of life” this summer.

brad.