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“Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the Lent season.  It’s important that we observe the inauguration of the Lenten season as we  join ourselves (fellow Christian believers all over the globe) together, placing ashes on our foreheads and praying prayers of repentance. 

Courtesy of Somersault Group

The purpose of Lent at a macro level is to remind us of the cost of sin.  We no longer have animal sacrifices to remind us as in days of old and it’s easy to just throw a prayer asking Jesus’ forgiveness skyward and move on.  Lent is a Christian season that guides us toward Good Friday and ultimately shows us what our redemption cost. 

On a micro level we often give up something for Lent.  The tradition is that you give up chocolate or coffee etc.  Although a cute tradition, it’s a little misguided.  During the forty days of Lent we invite the Holy Spirit to reveal to us what has fallen out of alignment.  We ask that we be given eyes to see what has come between us and God.  Not all things in our lives are bad, but when they come between us and Jesus we are oriented to them rather than God.  We then choose to give them up for a season so that Christ can re-integrate them into our lives appropriately. ” 

—–(Quote above - From Father Brian Hardin of Four Winds Anglican Mission ) —

Ash Wednesday is a time to reconsider, to reassess who we are and how we are living… as the popular Christian rock/pop band Switchfoot says in one of their great lyrics… “Are We Who We wanna BE?” Not in the negative context per say… but in the contemplative and open to hear God tell us anything kind of way… are we?

So let me encourage you to consider taking a moment today to consider Ash Wednesday as more than a catholic event, or more than an “old” church experience, maybe it’s time to consider observing this time-honored Christian tradition of faith. Maybe even include your kids, your family and your friends in this process? Who knows… there are a lot of Wednesday night bible studies and prayer groups out there in evangelical world who just might find this opportunity life-giving. I know I sure have.

As families, it might be fun to consider together what you might need to “re-align” in your home in preparation of Easter. Less media, more sun, or less pizza and more veggies… this doesn’t need to become a “religious” exercise, keep it real. Honest and authentic… in forty days, let me/us know what happened?

I can guarantee you, God will speak if you take the time to get quiet enough to hear.

Peace out RTP.

brad.

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So I get a lot of questions from friends, fellow parents and observers… how do you bring up “the conversation” with your kids about… you know “THE TALK“? I pause usually for a few seconds and consider carefully before I reply. Not sure what you mean…. “the talk”? Usually they reply somewhat sheepishly, you know… about Sex.

Oh… “that ” talk.

Well… that depends. What age are they, what gender, what is their personality type and how mature are they? Critical details that need to be considered before responding. So here’s my best advice based on my own failed attempts and ill – timed, well-intentioned parental excursions into this sacred and yet incredibly intimidating rite of passage.

Couple of my own guidelines to consider when it’s time for “the talk”…

1 – Under the age of ten, consider keeping any discussion intentionally vague and non-specific.

2- Pre-teens are curious, but easily embarrassed. Extra so if they are discussing this with a parent. If you didn’t bring it up… it would be wise to carefully inquire as to “why” they are. Often it may involve something they have heard at school, on the bus or from a friend. Don’t blow it off. Be alert and cautious as to their level of maturity and innocence. Some parents jump all the way into the deep end of the pool here and discuss anything and everything. I would be hesitant to do that with young girls and boys under the age of 12.

3- For 12-13 year olds, prayerfully consider the setting and time/place to ask your children if they have any questions about growing up. Be able to devote some time and attention to them without distraction or embarrassment. Be prepared to answer awkward questions about your own teen and young adult years, and respond with honesty and a PG-13 level of detail.

4- Use an example to illustrate the key point you want them to remember. I use the classic CS Lewis analogy from the “Four Loves”… of Fire. Describing the attributes of fire and then comparing them to sex is a very cool way to help a pre-teen or teen grasp the inherent truth of what you’re saying without graphic and lurid details. Fire is beautiful, it is essential to life, to comfort us and for our living… but it is only good in an environment that is safe. Fire outside of a fireplace or stove top can destroy and burn or kill. It can’t be controlled once let loose, and outside of those situations, much like sex it is a disaster in the making…. you can take it from there.

5- Keep the discussion door open for the future. You don’t have to cover the entire discussion in one setting. Be sure to back off if they are processing and quiet, and let them know your available anytime to resume or expand on this conversation. If they don’t take you up on that offer in a few days or weeks, then you might want to re-start the conversation in time.

The bottom line is this… if you avoid this topic, if you shy away from or gloss over the content as a parent, someone or something else will fill in the blanks for your kids. Someone who most likely has a different viewpoint, value system and moral code than you. Doing nothing is choosing to let someone else have the ‘talk” with your kids. Take courage and step up.

If you’re a single parent trying to talk with a child of the opposite gender, you may want to avoid the details and hit the high points, deferring instead to a trusted Christian friend of the same gender as your child  to help explain the more gender specific issues of sexuality and adolescence.

I’m pretty comfortable talking with people about any subject, but when it comes to my own kids and sex… not so much. Especially with two teen daughters, it scares me to death. When I think of how badly I blew it as a teen and young man… i really can feel overwhelmed, guilty…like a hypocrite etc… but trust me, you must. Go ahead and own what you need to with your teens and share edited versions from your own personal pain and regrets as to the validity of our biblical beliefs of waiting until marriage to experience sex.

Be careful with the tone in how you communicate your views as parents. In your fear for their purity, you may un-intentionally make this a hard core, very negative - “thou shalt not” talk… (as a dad, that’s definitely what I do when I’m afraid for my kids) Take a deep breath, let it out slowly… and then maybe another and prayerfully ask for God to help you as you dive into one of the most important topics we as parents will ever consider with our kids.

Be approachable and fight the urge to over simplify this talk. Sex isn’t dirty or wrong or evil, it’s just very complicated and when you engage the heart and body before the safety of a martial vow, hearts get broken and lives maimed. God knows what he’s doing, His directive to not defile the marriage bed is very timely for our culture and our children to grasp, process and respect. It’s important to let them know their feelings and curiosity is normal, healthy and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s in the discussion that they gain the freedom to share and exchange ideas, if you just “shut them down” and discourage any conversation… you will risk the likelihood of your kids figuring things out on their own, without the benefit of your adult perspective. Not recommended.

Remember your kids are getting an average of 70+ hours a week of media ingestion… at least a third of that has sexual innuendo, images or outright open encouragement to experience sex before marital covenant. That’s a lot of mixed messages hitting their brains and hearts, combining that with hormones, peer pressure and insecurity and you have a huge recipe for disaster.

The good news… you can influence your children more than any other voice in their lives… even ones as enticing as Beyonce’s or Sports Illustrated or MTV.

RTP invites you to respond.  Readers and fellow parents, we all can use some help with this area of raising our kids. Feel free to share and respond.  Peace out,

brad…

If topic this was helpful or of interest; consider these other posts regarding love, sexuality and parenting -

 Today’s (2-20-12)  relevant.com post is very timely – The Secret Sexual revolution – http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/28337-the-secret-sexual-revolution

 Learning about Love –  http://wp.me/p1jVqv-ey 

Reclaiming Romantic Love – http://wp.me/p1jVqv-hO

Bisexuality is hip – http://wp.me/p1jVqv-4R

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The morning of our last day broke slowly with low dark snow clouds, poor visibility and a fresh five inches of blowing and drifting snow on the road. Following a bright orange state snow plow out of Stanley, ID we were fortunate to make it over the Galena Summit pass (8700 feet) on Hwy 75 as  it twisted its way up and down the mountain sides of the Sawtooth National Forest into Sun Valley. Not an easy road to travel in any condition, it was especially treacherous now. Traffic however was light…

Sunrise on the road to Sun Valley

We knew the views and the majesty of Sun Valley Idaho must be epic… given the rich ski history and popularity of the area for winter and summer tourism, but we had to take that on faith as our view was confined to a block or two of retro styled retail buildings and trendy condo -ranch estates blanketed with a fresh layer of powdered snow. Perfect for skiers, it was not so great for roadtripping and photography hounds like us. We pulled into a McDonald’s for some fresh coffee and breakfast as we pondered our options for the last day.

Again, Brian smugly and stubbornly insisted it was “up to me bro…since you forced me to make all the decisions last year”… Irritated I didn’t reply, Sipping my marvelously hot coffee and taking large bites out of my breakfast burritos instead. I was frustrated and weary of  the seemingly endless grey sub-atmosphere we had suffered under for most of this trip… I was tired of the cold rain, the damp clinging fog, relentless snow and the ever-present vague but oppressive sense of blah… of no color, of life on dull.

I had really been excited, hopeful this trip would refresh and renew and inspire me and us for the next eleven months of parenting, ministry and work. So far it had revealed some glimpses of encouragement and confirmation, but nothing truly “Epic” or “Awe inspiring”. As I got a refill of my McCafe… I felt like maybe… we should attempt to re-trace our steps today. To link back east and follow a scenic byway on Hwy 20 past Craters of the Moon National Monument and head North on Hwy 93 again back to Montana. It showed on our map that this route would essentially force us to totally retrace our steps back the way we had come the day before. Given the brief glimpses of  Idaho mountain glory we had enjoyed outside of Salmon ID, we were hungry for more.

It would be a LONG haul for sure. It was way back to Sandpoint ID and Spokane WA (where our Southwest flight would leave from) from here, and the obvious route was to drive due north up interstate 84 to Boise and then to Spokane directly and just be done with this trip. Maybe it was time to concede the point that the sunshine was elsewhere for the duration and although not epic, this trip was fun and it’s always great to just spend a week with my best friend and comrade on the road away from the grind of life… but something deeper was nagging at me… at us. Calling to us to risk to dare to believe… to try one more time. So we did.

Heading east on Hwy 20 was like entering the “twilight zone” in black and white… I could almost see Rod Serling waiting on the roadside in the desolate setting, ready to tell us a creepy story while the fog swirled around and hid us from view. CREEPY. Fog was thick, like soup as we drove in several inches of wet and soppy snow that caused our Edge to slip and slide all over the two lane as we headed back into the past.

Twenty minutes into this grand gamble, I felt like an idiot. Here we were driving an extra four hundred miles out of our way on the last day of our “restful roadtrip” in the vain hope to find sunlight where forecasters and common sense could easily explain there “was none” to be found. I muttered under my breath a half serious, half-joking prayer…. “God, it would be nice if you could just part this fog and open up a little patch of blue sky and sunshine for our last day“…

Our Prayer Answered

Within thirty seconds, the most amazing thing happened… it got worse, darker. The fog went from bad, to almost impenetrable. Slowing the car to 25 mph I had to drop the high beams to low to see the road and once again we were totally surrounded by a familiar grey and ghostly world. I muttered something cynical about how “that prayer didn’t get very far“… when Brian eagerly pointed forward through the windshield to a small piece of blue sky starting to grow in the immediate horizon.

NO freaking way! I felt like a 90-year-old Sarah being told she was going to have a baby!

But it was there, clear blue sky and sunshine and it followed us through the entire morning and well into the day! Like a personal escort of good cheer and beauty, the only patch of dry sky and clarity in the entire state it seemed, went ahead of and behind us in a five-mile swath of color and beauty. It followed us up the Craters to Peak Scenic Byway (hwy 20 and 93) and it followed us into Salmon ID (Where Sacajawea was born and Lewis and Clark journeyed) it followed us into Montana and over three mountain passes and into one amazing river valley after another, brushed with ice and sand and snow. It escorted us into pristine alpine forests and air as transparent as crystal,  our roads were somehow kept clear and as we went, it forced back storm after storm from our path all day.

It became like a beacon of courage for us, when after the fifth or sixth super intense snow squall / sleet storm hit us in less than two hours … Brian confidently predicted… “don’t worry bro, this too will soon fade . The sun and clear skies will be back in five minutes, these storms have no power over us today.” (my paraphrase of course:) But it was true, we were repeatedly hit by one intense downpour after another, all as ferocious and dark and oppressive as the previous six days had been, but we pushed on and forward and found the storms bark were much worse than their bite. Each were very brief and weak in their ability to consistently block our blessed path of sunshine and clear skies. With each and ever storm, the sun returned in its fullest intensity within five or ten minutes unphased by the ferocity of the weather around us.

Breaking through the Storm - Hwy 93 in Idaho

Laughing we made our way from one picturesque vista to another, winding our way over the very same territory we had just wandered aimlessly in the day before. God had come through.. God had cleared the way for us, it was obvious that something supernatural was around us and with us as we literally felt like we were crossing the Red Sea or something. It seemed that God had parted the way through the darkness and gloom of our circumstances and brought the light and clarity of God’s presence with us wherever we went.

That’s as beautiful of a picture as I could ever hope to describe…. It bookended our trip in a way that was immensely encouraging and practical. 2012 it seems will be a year of struggle, of going forward through the storms of our lives, persisting when the rain and the clouds and skies won’t part for long periods and seasons of dull will persist. But God has promised, the sunshine is coming and the road although familiar to us, will be seen in a brand new light. We just have to persist in staying on the course we know He’s asked us to travel… that takes faith and conviction and confidence that God is with you, that He will not leave you.

Peace out dear families. Carry on and keep on. God will be there with you, regardless of how it seems, He is right beside you keeping pace in 2012… as you pass each mile marker along the way.

Brad.

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Sandpoint Idaho is a really cool town. Lots of people agree, so much so that it’s commonly ranked in the top ten national categories for small towns to live in. Beautiful, clean, quiet…it’s nestled in a northern Idaho valley with a large beautiful fresh water lake and mountain peaks on three sides, it offers all kinds of activities, skiing, shopping, great food, hunting, hiking etc… a genuine four season outdoor paradise. We didnt’ see much of that, but we did see a glimmer of the sun the next morning and it was a welcome sight…

Sandpoint ID, Jan 2012 - Lakeside Sunrise

Focused on exploring Idaho, we had been so distracted by the snowstorm the night before we hadn’t given much thought to today’s travel plans… after a moment of map reading it was clear that Idaho was not a state with an abundance of roads. The center of the state was mountain and wilderness with very little in the way of pavement, and what was there seemed closed in the winter. That left us with only a few options… since Brian was sticking with his decision to have me call the ball on this roadtrip, I decided to “feel my way” again and head east into Montana before circling south and west again when we could.

So we hopped in our snow, dirt and ice encrusted Ford Edge and headed east on US Hwy 200, en route to Missoula MT and Hwy 93… a road that would turn out to be worth all of the delays and bad weather and disappointing efforts to discover sunshine and beauty. But first… we had some driving to do. It took most of the day and a lot of gray but dry weather before we finally were able to navigate back west. Four hundred miles and nine hours later we were pulling into Salmon, ID and found a hidden valley at the end of our afternoon full of sunshine and endless snow-capped peaks.

Hwy 93 - outside of Salmon,

 Sunlight was gloriously streaming across the valley floor and crystal blue sky was everywhere above… we had found it! For the first time on our trip we had found some unrestrained and colorful mountain beauty breaking across the grey barriers for us to enjoy! It was spectacular, and refreshing and so nice after so many days of driving in the grey… and as it turned out, sort of short-lived.

Within two hours of entering Salmon, ID… we lost the mountain vista’s as a familiar dark strangling line of low hanging snow clouds moved in front of us out of the west directly in our path. We were approaching Sun Valley (ironically) and had only a hundred miles to go when the snow storm hit. Within forty-five minutes we were once again driving in unplowed mountain roads, twisty across ice and snow and sleet and it was dark. Deja Vu from the night before.

I uttered the simple request out loud of how nice it would be to just find a hotel out here so we could crash and avoid the long drawn out drive to Sun Valley in another pitch black snowstorm. (sure to take 3 more hours) Almost immediately out of the snow wall we were driving into… a few slight lights glowed and winked off and on as the waves of snow waxed and waned. I was scared to get my hopes up, but what if it was a hotel? Five minutes later were checking into a newly refurbished isolated hotel with a small restaurant and grocery gas store out in the middle of NOWHERE, Idaho. (actual town name is Stanley, ID) Thank You God!

Brian and I were hopeful after the storm passed, that we would have a chance at some clear skies and starlight as only can be seen way out in the wilderness, the desert or at sea. After a meal of sandwiches and fries we drove five minutes out-of-town on a back road to see the sky as the storm was slowing in intensity. Alas, it was still overcast and occasionaly spitting out some heavy bouts of snow flurries…So we crashed in our miracle hotel room after noting our good fortune at finding the only motel for a hundred miles and at just the right time. Huge coincidence? Nah… it was favor from God. As if He knew that were tired and worn out from the drive and needed to just rest.

Our "miracle" hotel in Stanley, ID

Lesson learned in part from Day six… God always shows up for us, when we need it the most. It may feel like He’s absent or unaware of our urgent and ongoing crisis’ of faith, family and hope… but He is not. I promise that when you’re at the very end of your own strength and courage and determination to go any further on your current course… He will send sunshine and blue sky or arrange for a perfect night of rest and recuperation, at your most desperate hour.

Day six was physically exhausting, over twelve hours on the road, major changes in terrain and weather, but we were reminded… to get to your destination as a parent, sometimes You just have to push on and press forward until that break in the clouds is visible, regardless of what it “looks like” or “feels like” in-between.

Tomorrow morning would be a thursday and the beginning of our seventh and last day, and as it turned out… was by far and away our very best day on this roadtrip. As usual…God was speaking to us and we were getting some valuable insights for what lay ahead in 2012 and we were grateful for the time to reflect and project what God was up to in our lives and in the lives of those we loved. 

Peace out, RTP readers.

brad.

 

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Pushing into the Seattle area late in the evening we were greeted by it’s stereotypical wet and grey …fading quickly to black. We had identified a way across the Cascade mountain range that looked very promising… Hwy 20 eastbound looked to be a winding, two lane with lots of mountains and views. PERFECT.

By dawn it was clear that road was now closed due to avalanche risks and an alternate route would be needed to go east. We still had three days to explore and we had not given up on finding some blue sky and sunshine. Brian felt Idaho might be the place to go, given we both were unfamiliar with the area and the state seemed filled with backroads. So we rose early and made our escape… simply looking to get away from the wet and grey coastline of the pacific ocean, we drove up into the wet and grey woods of western Washington. We were hopeful to find snow in the higher elevations at the very least and leave this wet misery behind.

The Cascades in Winter

We found it. Lots of it. Crossing the Cascades from the southern pass along Hwy 2, we found six or seven feet of powdery snow piled up along the road as we rose up to over five thousand feet, a rapid climb given we had started literally at sea level only forty miles earlier. The skies were grey still, but the air was full of the thick flakes of very wet and very heavy snow like only the coastal mountains can provide. We drove the winding road with relief and refreshment. It seemed that we might be leaving the wet and dreary climate behind and advancing quickly on the alpine wonderland we so appreciated. We crossed into a Bavarian ski village that must have been transplanted brick by brick from Europe into Washington state!  (a town called Leavenworth) We both commented on how much our wives would LOVE to visit… I noted the piped in music wafting out of the town gazeebo, sprinkled with several inches of fresh snow and felt like I had driven straight into a real life set of SHREK. This had to be Duloc

Leavenworth WA - Bavarian Village

We left the colorful lights and sugary fantasy of Leavenworth, WA behind and drove a winding road back into black and white reality…snaking our way across central and eastern Washington state, in and out of snow, fog and rain. The skies were never quite clear enough to see blue, but the rain seemed to be fading and the air getting colder as we went. Promise of more snow and less rain…we hoped.

By the time we had traversed the site of the Grand Coulee Dam and driven deep into the northern woods of northeastern Washington (via Hwy 302) we were in a full fledged blizzard. Snow we had found, slow and beautiful at first, it quickly had grown in intensity until miles from anywhere, we were caught by an un-expected (not forecasted) blast of winter that left us limping along on unplowed two lane roads winding in- out of the mountains as the sun was setting quickly in our rearview mirror.

Our car had AWD and at first the snow was only a few inches deep, but the steep terrain and 15-20mph curves kept us from making much progress. By 6pm we were into five or six inches of snow and random blowing whiteout conditions. It was impossible to get a cell signal or find a town or sign of life anywhere. I had driven for almost three hours into the center of the storm and the relentless swarm of thick snow flakes had started to really affect my vision and perspective… I couldn’t see the edges of the road in the dark and swirling snow and not a single snowplow had revealed itself. I was dizzy, and experiencing mild vertigo by the time I pulled off the road and let Brian take the wheel.

He quickly drove us out of the never-ending storm and into a beautiful little town (Sandpoint ID) where we found a welcome oasis of light and warmth and food. Sweet! We crashed at a lakefront Best Western and had the best meal of our trip… fresh rainbow trout and warm bread paired with steamed veggies. Delicious and very welcome. We had indeed found our snow, and we had found our mountains…but we had not seen much of any of it. It seemed the sky remained stubbornly closed to us, blocking the vista’s of it’s beauty that we knew had to be there. So frustrating…

Before drifting off to sleep…I remembered thinking about how good it was to not be in a blizzard and how fortunate I was to have a comrade… a dear and trustworthy friend who could take the wheel when I get too tired, or too confused to find my way. So glad to know that Brian was a true and dear companion… a veteran of the roadtrip world and I knew he would always be there to help. Kind of like our parenting and life challenges, I reflected on how critical it is to have someone else in our lives to encourage and help us along the way of life. I know when I need to find my way out of the next blizzard life brings my way…. I won’t have to do it without help. It’s really important for us all realize we don’t have to try this parenting stuff all alone. We desperately need each other, we need the help of those who have been there before us and so often we need their perspective…

Day five reminded me of a very important truth…Life is not meant to be lived alone… RoadTrips are not meant to be experienced alone and raising our kids is not a solo ride either. Lesson learned.

Peace out,

brad

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Roadtripping is supposed to be amazing, fun, exhilarating and spontaneous, but sometimes it’s not. Kind of like our lives… days four and five were definitely less than stellar, but the company was good. We found on this roadtrip, we were going to have to deliberately choose to look for the positives in our situation, the weather was still not cooperating, and after some consideration we decided to push on as originally planned, and “feel our way” along this trip. We relaxed, and decided to loosely hold to our schedule and allow for changes along the route if needed.

So bright and early, Brian and I headed west out of Jasper into the center of British Columbia and cruised the famous and lonely Canadian Hwy 16 – or the “Yellow Head Highway” we only drove a fraction of its length, from Jasper to a few hundred miles from Prince Rupert. The idea was to leave civilization and really see the backwoods of Canada, a road and a place we had never actually visited. The weather, the fog and the terrain all combined to give us a less than ideal experience.

Yellow Head Highway - Jan 2012 - West of Jasper

Rain, sleet and occasional snow were constant companions for the next four hundred miles and visibility remained low. We saw a ton of trees and few mountains, but mostly just the snow covered pavement and icy road. Let me just confirm for the curious… Yellow Head highway west of Jasper has very few towns, very few gas stations and very little civilization at all. The isolation was a welcome friend as we had driven here in part to escape the crush of our schedules and busy lives… but after two days of relentless road and grey shades of sky and no real sun, we were ready for something with a bit more yellow and orange and whole lot less white and grey.

So we adjusted our plans and decided to turn south after a very interesting side trip that almost led us up to Alaska (turned back by a sudden blizzard) … instead we had to make a double stop in Prince George and discovered an epic snafu at a Petro Canada gas station in which a debit card of Brian’s was charged almost $700,000.00 (not a typo) for a fill up… by accident of course. Talk about inflation… We won’t go into that, but it was clear we were ready to get out of dodge and find some sunshine and more accurate credit card machines in the south.

We stuck with our roadtripping tradition and determined to leave British Columbia via the backroads (via Hwy 99) into Whistler and onto Vancouver. We enjoyed a spectacular end of day view as we wound our way along the misty harbors and wooded inlets of the Pacific Northwest as we approached Bowen Island and Horseshoe Bay. Vancouver BC is a MUST visitfor those who love mild climates, flowers on Victoria’s island and an amazing cityscape that rests on a series of peninsula’s right on the pacific, rimmed by the mountains to the north and east and the sea to the west. GORGEOUS in any weather!

Approaching Vancouver - Pacific Beauty - Horseshoe Bay

We however managed to find a serious traffic jam on Canadian Hwy 4 as we tried to sneak back into the US, spending an extra 90 minutes trapped on a ten lane freeway in rush hour evening traffic. Good to know some things are universal

We survived and despite the weather and the roads and the delays we navigated the new path forward without serious incident or stress. We did feel the unease of driving so quickly from an isolated wilderness road with only wind and rain and trees to look at, into a ten lane truck and commuter jammed freeway full of suburbanites…. it takes some rapid “adjusting” to shift from such extremes in environment, but we remained in good spirits and hopeful for a new day and better views in Washington.

Between us we have six teen-agers, this rapid transition stuff was already a bit of a familiar sensation for us, but in a different way… we knew about sudden climate changes, the angst of slowing down and speeding up and of surprises in the weather at home… this roadtrip had many of the familiar earmarks of married life and raising our kids. The trick it seems with family and roadtripping is to choose to relax,… to hang “loosely” to our plans and enjoy the ride as we go. Some things, like hormones and growing up can’t be avoided or delayed… as parents we just have to go “through” them, pressing past the rain and the fog and gloom of our present situation, to the sunshine and calm that lies just ahead.

Crossing the US border we quickly headed for Seattle, a hotel and maybe some sunshine… day five of our roadtrip we prayed would be much better. It was… and it wasn’t. But that’s for tomorrow’s blog.

 

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Driving north into the heart of the Ice Parkway, Brian and I couldn’t help but notice the amazing serenity of it all. The relaxing and peaceful dance of  the softly floating snow as it slides by our windshield combined with the light crunching sound of fresh powder under the wheels, were hypnotic. Today, the crowds of camera crazy tourists and the roar of hundreds of chartered tour buses were absent, not a sound to be heard out here but the gentle “whoosh” of our passing, and the growing sense of being ’away” from the action. AWESOME

Visibility was again reduced by the heavy snow flakes and the grey cast of a northern winter reasserting itself into our horizon, blocking the views of the rows of mountain peaks only a mile to either side of us as we drive up the most beautiful road I know. The gentle and peaceful hush of falling flakes more than compensates for the reduced visual panorama… I’m eager to see my most favorite and sacred oasis of beauty up here, Bow Lake.

Bow Lake - July 2010

Bow Lake is like coming “home” for me. It’s where I first experienced the magic of these northern mountains, felt their power…their majesty, the Glory of God in a deeper way. I can still feel the profound peace of being there for the first time… basking in the soft warm glow of a late summer sunset five years before. Standing on the little wooden bridge along its gentle shores, I literally wept at the artistry and beauty of this quiet enclave, with blue-green water and stony boundaries, its reflection of perfection clear and fresh as any spring water you could imagine.

 

The mountain peaks that guard its flanks, dramatically soar into the sky thousands of feet above the lake, nestled between snow-white glacial outcroppings and a giant waterfall with rising mist, pounding rhythmically in the distant horizon. It was to this very waterfall that I took my family on our epic day hike in 2010 that  resulted in a transformation of our kids and a book deal with Tyndale Publishers to launch this entire concept of RoadTrip Parenting. So, Bow Lake is a BIG DEAL to me. Personally, symbolically and globally as a testament to the unique and indescribable ways of God in my life.

It was to this special place that we were driving to visit next…. when we arrived, it was closed. The road back to Num-ti-Jah lodge hadn’t been plowed and the windows and doors were boarded up for the season. A few snowshoer’s were present ready to hike, but other than that it was quiet and empty. Snow blanketed the ground three to five feet deep, with a  grey fuzzy filter between us and the distant vista I so fondly remembered. Regardless, we got out of our car and gamely grabbed our camera’s, gloves and hats, determined to walk to the hidden shoreline, buried completely under the deep winter snow.

Bow Lake Bridge - Jan 2012

It was still spectacular, it was still amazing, but we couldn’t see ALL of its beauty… not like before. We knew it was there, just across the shoreline, peaks with rocky spires and glaciers, waterfalls frozen in place and skies of crystal clear blue, but we couldn’t find them. Not today. We took our pictures, we waded the quarter-mile across waist deep snow and found the effort exhausting. (note to self, snowshoes are used for a reason) I was slightly disappointed to find my sacred space covered up in weather, but it wouldn’t have been right to drive by and not make the effort to see her again. Winded, and weary we returned to our SUV and headed up to Jasper.

Along the way we saw glimpses of sunshine and evidence of blue sky, but only for brief moments and all to quickly it retreated behind swirling mountains cloaked in the dark grey of snow clouds and twilight. When we arrived in Jasper (northernmost outpost of the Bow Valley and Tourist belt of Banff and Lake Louise) it was still light enough to find a hotel room and get downtown to enjoy their annual winter festival. Streets were blocked off and a winter carnival type atmosphere was everywhere, people skating, talking, eating, standing over bonfires and sipping hot tea, coffee and chocolate… the smells, and sights and sounds made us feel like we had been transported to a nordic village that could have occurred hundreds of years ago or just today.

On the way to Jasper, AB - Jan 2012

Tired and ready for bed, we crashed at a local bed and breakfast and decided to head west in the morning for sunshine and better views. We were nearing our destination, the real wildnerness…the true un-explored frontier of British Columbia. An area we had only briefly seen in the summer, and we were eager to find out how far we could go and what adventure might lay ahead. The road was calling, open and snowy and unknowable… exactly what we craved.

As I considered the day and Bow Lake and the drive, I thought about how life mirrors our experiences. We can revisit places in our world that we know are beautiful, that we have loved and treasured for years, but they feel foggy… darker and grey. We know there is real pleasure there, real joy…but we can’t seem to find it. We know that our life is full and majestic and purposeful, but we just can’t feel it. I took great contentment in remembering that like the hidden beauty of our drive and the persistent nature of the dark and grey skies, it was only for a season. Spring would come and then summer and the beauty and glory and atmosphere I loved so much would return and it would be ALL the GREATER for it.

Just like our lives often appear to be…. Raising kids, staying connected with spouses, living in community, paying the mortgage and staying late at our jobs…all of it, from time to time…may sap some of the beauty and glory of our days, but it can’t take away the fact that it’s still there. This drive reminded me, its only hidden under a layer of snow or ice or obscured by fog… those are just circumstances, about to melt or blow away.

Peace out my RTP friends, day four comes tomorrow

b

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After crashing at a local hotel in Radium Springs BC, we awoke early (5am ish) still on central time and found ourselves enveloped by a fresh three or four inches of dry fluffy powdered snow, it looked like we had driven to Narnia. Radium as a town it seems was lacking in significant food and or eating options for breakfast… specifically COFFEE.

Darkest morning drive ever...

After a thirty minute explore of the area, we couldn’t find a single place open to get some and reluctantly we drove off into the east across Kootenay National Park on Canadian Hwy 93 (of which there are NO towns or coffee stops to be had)  towards Bow Valley and Lake Louise/Banff. Normally an hour and half drive it took us two and half to cross the 80+ miles due to pitch black darkness and fresh unplowed snow on the road. We drove until almost 8:30am before we saw even a “hint” of light grey cracking the eastern horizon through the valley and silhouetted peaks. We “knew” we were in the mountains, we “knew” because we had driven this exact same road before (the ONLY road to cross the mountains from west to east this far south in the winter) but we couldn’t SEE a thing. I mean nada.

It was like driving in a cavern or cave, pitch black except for our headlights which seemed to be really weak in the oppressive inky black of the wilderness night. Our day clocks being used to the central time zone and more southern climes, we were shocked to find the day took sooo long to get to us. By the time we rolled into Banff the grey was gradually warming to shades of pink and orange and we could smell the soon to be embraced COFFEE… and we needed to drink IT !  

The Keg - Breakfast in Banff - 2012 roadtrip

After a most satisfying six cups of fresh strong COFFEE paired with an amazingly good saturday morning breakfast at “The Keg” located in what looked to be a most comfortable Caribou Lodge and Spa  (pictured) we found ourselves  revived and in much better spirits. To add to that growing optimism, the sky was glowing stronger now with red and orange and the darker shades of grey were gone. Morning it seemed, did put a whole new “light” on things, and despite its tardy appearance we were stoked to be in the Canadian Rockies in one of the most beautiful mountain towns in the world.

Banff is a UNESCO world heritage site for a reason, if you have not been to this jewel of the Canadian Rockies… it’s a MUST see. World class shopping, restaurants, scenery, skiing, wildlife, four season sports, art, music and family activities make it a huge magnet for the tourist circuit and we were only planning on making a brief appearance before heading off into wilder terrain.

Fairmont - Banff Springs AB - Jan 2012

We quickly explored the downtown before the crowds awoke and dodging ski resort vans and hotel buses for the downhill set, we crossed the downtown bridge across Bow River and took some quick pics of the famous castle,  Fairmont Banff Springs lodgeand resort which sits majestically over the Bow River valley. Pricey, but amazing. We were really looking to see if the Bow river falls had frozen… located a few blocks behind the castle and directly on the river front, it had. It was breathtaking to see a waterfall that big and powerful frozen solid – now a massive block of ice… so we took some pictures to prove it. Posed for some of our own (see day one blog) and decided to head North before the crowds started making their noisy intrusions into our winter wonderland.

Morning Glory - Banff AB - Jan 2012

As we drove north out-of-town on the famous Canadian transcontinental highway one… we watched forlornly as the sun slipped behind the suddenly angry skies and the snow began to fall… slowly and gently at first, but with more urgency and vigor as we drove. By the time we had arrived at Lake Louise (about an hour north of Banff) we were in heavy snow and limited visibility. SO limited we couldn’t really see the mountains around Lake Louise and the iconic Victoria’s Glacier. Frozen solid enough to host a regional free-skate day, the lake was still beautiful and gracious to us and the ice magic sculptures were gorgeous to watch being carved.

Soon the saturday crowds began to arrive and hundreds if not thousands of weekend families began to explore the beauty and fun and festivities around us. Sleigh rides, hot chocolate, ice carvings, and snow… lots and lots of snow ! It was a winter wonderland for sure, but for adventure hounds like us… it was feeling pretty crowded. We decided to press on and drive north.

Lake Louise - Winter view - Jan 2012

Next stop on our trip was to be my favorite! Bow Lake, and then up one of the most scenic 150 miles of roadway in the world, the Ice Fields Parkway from Lake Louise to Jasper. As we explored the beauty of Bow Valley in and around Banff National Park, we were revisiting sights and scenes from our past roadtrips, places and wonders that had appeared completely different in the long and sunny days of summer. For January, these were some of the shortest and darkest days of the year and its effect on the landscape and environment were profound. I found myself anxiously watching the clock to find out exactly when the faint light of day would be extinguished… it turns out around 4:30pm mountain time… WAY TOO SOON.

Regardless, we were excited, full of caffeine and undeterred in our desire to see the northern Canadian wilderness in the winter… a FIRST for us both. Part three for tomorrow, as we explore winter wonders of the iconic Bow Lake, the rugged town of Jasper and Wild British Columbia… and get into some deeper snow and a lot of fun.

Peace out,

brad.

 

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Just returned from my eighth winter roadtrip to the mountains… crazy I know. Everyone looks at me a bit odd when I try to explain that I like to drive in the mountains in the middle of the winter, especially in places I’ve never been to before. It’s a tradition that I have been fortunate to share with my dearest friend Brian Hardin over the past decade. We’ve been to almost every state in the lower 48 in search of the next un-discovered road with beauty.

Brad & Brian - RoadTrip Winter 2012

It’s more than just an exercise in male machismo or an addiction to adrenaline, it’s rooted in our deep awareness that each January we need to slow down to sense and hear God’s voice  for the year ahead. For our families, our ministries and our work it’s become clear that each new season of life has its own unique circumstances and challenges as well as rewards. To enter the new year without taking a few days to clear our heads and re-set, recenter ourselves with God is no longer an option for us. We’ve learned painfully of the risk we take when we just venture into the next year without a sense of direction or purpose. Brian and his wife are expecting their fifth child this summer and my oldest goes off to college in the fall… we knew that 2012 would be a  pivotal year for us and our families and we were determined to not proceed very far without taking some “time-out” with God.

So, we packed our gear and loaded up for a 4:30am drive to the Nashville airport to catch our flight to Spokane WA. (Thank you Cristian) Landed in Denver and then caught an immediate connection to our destination (thank you Southwest) where we landed to an unusual snowstorm in progress. After picking up a rental AWD Ford Edge, we took off for the Northland of Canada. We had decided to explore the Canadian Rockies in the winter, our favorite summer destination for several years now…but new to us to explore in the winter season.

Our first day was spent navigating a two lane highway north to the Canadian border in a blowing snowstorm with five or six inches of fresh snow already on the ground. It was beautiful, but it was grey. Shades of grey in fact, lighter grey for the sky and darker grey for the landscape and the mountains remained hidden behind a veil of cotton and cold. But we pushed on, believing that the skies would clear and make their appearance to us in time. So with digital cameras ready and our cornuts and licorice nearby, we drove into the darkening horizon, full of expectation and hope and excitement.

First night - Radium Springs BC

Expectation for a great time together and in discovering the winter beauty of some of the most magnificent scenery in the world, hope for a brand new experience to discover roads yet to be driven and excitement to learn what 2012 might be all about. We were not to be disappointed. Brian soon made it clear that since last year (2011) he had to make all the decisions for our roads, course and specific destinations…that it was my turn to be the pilot for 2012. He said somewhat jokingly… you’re going to have to “feel your way along”.  Neither of us had any idea how prophetic that statement would turn out to be…

O.K… need to review a couple of rules for RoadTripping before we go any further…

1- No four lane or interstate roads can be used, if a two lane highway or back road is available

2- No previously driven road is acceptable unless no other reasonable travel options exist

3- Schedules are loose, no previous reservations at hotels for arrivals at specific times or places. We want to keep the freedom of making decisions as we go.

4- Pictures are necessary, stopping at random times and places are allowed and encouraged, for prime pics and fresh air.

5- Meals out are optional, we eat when we want to… snack constantly and drink copious amounts of caffeine.

For specific details on travel – check out the bottom of this blog. For more information on the next six days and 3500 miles of travel adventure, humor, inspiration and excitement we shared in the mountains and lakes of Canada and the Pacific Northwest, (British Columbia and Alberta, Washington, Idaho and Montana) stay tuned to our next blog tomorrow…

Peace out,

brad.

- Day One: Nashville to Spokane – Southwest Airlines (much cheaper to fly into Washington than Calgary Alberta) Drove from Spokane International via Hwy 95 North via the Eastport border crossing to Radium Springs in British Columbia… approx 300 miles and eight hours to drive in the winter with US/Canada crossing delays, picture stops and potty breaks. (Mapquest) Don’t miss Sandpoint Idaho on the way north, great town to visit, shop or sightsee, ski etc… very friendly and fun place to hangout.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Left or Right? Options to pick from, ideas to weigh… lead us to carefully consider difficult decisions and future possibilities. Life seems full of wildy divergent paths. Republican, Democrat or Independent ?… In an election year the pressure is for us on to choose. For families the variety of choices we have are endless, a daily deluge of options, ideas and pro-con assessments we’re forced to make. Parents are constantly deciding to turn left, right or proceed straight ahead.

Left or Right?

Homeschool or public, tithe or occasionally give, cable or Dish, Mac or PC, dating or courtship, two-story or single level living… vaccinations and drug therapy or herbal remedies. Organic or Kroger sales items, gluten-free or wheat, weekly devotionals or sunday school? New car or used, university or community college, credit cards or cash, Costco or Sams Club, pay a mortgage or rent, exercise or diet

In the Christian world, the choices get even more fuzzy… King James, or New Living Translation, NIV or ESV, fundamentalist, Baptist, Charismatic, Evangelical, Non-Denominational, Baptism with immersion or sprinkling, devotionals or journaling, live worship or hymn’s… you get the idea.

Life throws options at us everyday, choices to be made or not.

HOW the heck do you navigate those decisions and have any assurance you’re making the “right” choice. I mean sometimes these seem to be a neutral choices. Like turn left or right, because the road ahead is “blocked”.  Does it matter ?

I want to encourage you with some insight from the bible.

1- God is FOR YOU. He is interested, and wants to be actively involved in that process if you let Him. Proverbs 3:5-6 is a classic verse to remember… don’t skip the step of taking the “options” to God in prayer.

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
⁶ Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

2 – God is full of GRACE, means that when we make a rush decision, He promises to redeem it if we respond with humility to His re-direction.

Romans 8:28

New Living Translation (NLT)

²⁸And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

 

Simple, but profound wisdom from the word of God itself. Brings me to the closing point; let’s agree to stay in the atmosphere of Jesus… around His words, around His people, and around His presence. If you do, the choices can quickly go from moments of anxiety to peace.

 

As Christian’s and Parents, we get an extra dose of guilt when we choose and things work out poorly. It seems we are carrying an additional anchor to our hearts, the desperate need to do it “right”, to avoid making mistakes, to live spotless lives. To protect our kids from our own shortcomings and bias’…

 

Not going to happen. Let it go. His GRACE is enough.

 

For 2012… we will need to cut ourselves and those we love some serious slack. Rest assured some choices will be simple, clear-cut and obvious…but others will take some processing to navigate. Stick with the basics… the Word of God, trusted comrades to bounce things off of and a community of faith to walk it out with and ABOVE ALL; let’s all agree to wait for the “Peace” of God before acting.

 

Being a great parent, spouse or friend is not about how strong or capable or wise we may seem… but in our ability and desire to Hear and Respond to the voice of our Shepherd.

 

May His wisdom fill your hearts and minds this year as you seek faithfully to keep your kids and families in between the lines and safely on the road of life for another year. Oh, and don’t forget to vote… but don’t knee jerk on that choice either… pray about it first.

 

Peace out,

brad.

 

PS – check out the book “Passages” on this blog page – if your not plugged into a bible reading plan for 2012… it’s a good idea to seriously consider. I strongly urge anyone, but especially parents to form opinions and make choices from more than experiences and insights, but the word of God itself.